The difference of a year

You know what, it was a year ago this week my life changed in two major ways. The first was I started back to school finally pursuing that masters degree I had been talking about for years. The second way was more life altering though, I started on the road to fitness.

I am the first one to note that sounds really cheesy, the road to fitness, but that is what it has been. Last year on January 24 I weighed in at 219.6 lbs. I wanted to cry as I stared at that scale. I want to run right out of the gym and just forget the push and kick that a friend had given me to do something about my body. But my trainer just took me out to the weights and put me to work (of course I did throw up on him that night, bonding us for life- or for at least as long as I can afford him.)


365 days later I am down 2 dress sizes, and weigh 30 lbs less. It hasn't always been easy. In fact there are days that I do give into temptation and eat three brownies and a scoop
of ice cream, but those days are becoming less and less. You see it is about making choices, it is about taking control of your own life. It is about waking up in the morning and being happy with who you are.

I know I have a long way to go, I have at least another 30 lbs that should disappear off this body by December 31st. I have goals on what size I am going to be when I graduate and what size I will be next time Nat's holiday challenge rolls around. I know there are going to be days like yesterday where I give into to temptation and eat the yummy treats that were brought into work, and days when I walk away from those treats-opting instead for something healthy.

I am struggling right now. I have been since the New Year, since I got sick. When I went to the doctor's on January 3rd I weighed in at 188.7. That was the same thing I weighed at the gym so I was pretty proud of myself. Of course my eating wasn't the best when I was ill, in fact it was close to non-existent. I know that is just as bad for you as eating to much, I tried to eat soups and protein shakes (oh and Ice cream) but I wasn't hungry. Imagine my surprise when I went to the gym the next week and weighed in- 194. I had gained 6 lbs in a week.

Jason, my trainer, and I were stunned. We looked over food intake and found nothing so we turned to my meds. We saw that one can cause water retention so we decided that was it and put everything on the back burner. Here's the thing those 6 lbs haven't come off. I have been off my meds for two weeks now and my eating habits have been pretty dang good (unless you look at this week). I'm going to the gym, we've changed up my cardio, and nothing.

I have to admit I am getting frustrated. Frustrated to the point where I say, "Sure I'll have a brownie and a cookie please." I don't want to do that. I am not that person anymore. I hate this feeling. Yes, I know it is just a number on a scale. I know what really matters is that my body fat is dropping, and I am healthier, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I hate that I am busting my behind and not seeing results. So I've decided to take drastic measures- A new challenge.

During the month of February through the end of Lent I am giving up refined sugar. *wibbles* this is going to be hard for me. I love to bake and I love to eat what I bake. I have a jar of candy on my desk, and chocolate in my drawer at work and at home. But I need a challenge, and since I give up chocolate anyway for Lent this will be good.

So hopefully this will be the jump start I need, and make me just a little bit healthier.